NANSENSE by Nancy K. Kincaid

Too much Thanksgiving and its tasty remains have left me in a sluggish state. I only seem to be able to move from the table to the couch to the bed, in no particular order. Thanksgiving weekend does it to me every year. Last night, while staring at some inane rerun on early-night TV, I saw myself in a commercial. Perhaps this phenomena has happened to you. Hopefully, you see yourself as the recipient of the Bow-Covered Mercedes or the proud new owner of the matching set of (every Kiss begins with K) diamond earrings. Maybe you picture yourself in the snow covered mountain retreat sipping bubbly surrounded by loving family and friends, while ringing in the New Year. Or, you could be the most interesting person in the world, drinking unpronounceable Mexican beer, in a remote exotic bar. Moi???? I was in a US Postal Service Commercial. Maybe you've seen it? The mom of the family is talking, by phone, to the long-distance Grandma. "Yes", the mom says, "we received your

My mother had a saying that she used frequently when she meant something was not going to happen. She only said it when she really wanted to emphasize the importance of her conviction. So, I'm going to use it here, with the same vehemence. "Hell will freeze over", when I go shopping on Black Friday. There you go folks. I won't be shopping on the Friday after Thanksgiving, or even on Thanksgiving afternoon or evening. You will not catch me darkening the door of any retail establishment. NO. Not going to do it! Not this year. Not any year. I sincerely ask you, what is wrong with the people of this country that they choose to use the very day set aside for Thanks Giving, as a day to push, shove and run around trying to find a bargain? What could be such a great deal, that causes us to leave our homes and family (the stuff we all say we are  thankful for) just to save a few bucks? Count me way, way, out. What happened to the joy of finding just the right presents

This week the United States recognized the 150th Anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's delivery of his most famous speech, the Gettysburg Address. Teenagers today would find it hard to imagine, but most folks, now in their 60s and 70s, were given the task of memorizing that speech during their high school years. I did it as a Sophomore, for an A, in Ms Sara Stephens' English class. It was a daunting task for a fifteen year old, to stand up in front of 30 or so classmates and recite, word for word, such a document. The memory of the event remains vivid in my mind and that was two score and nearly ten years ago. We also had the task of memorizing fifteen lines from Shakespeare's "Julius Caesar". Most everyone chose the first fifteen lines of Marcus Antonius' "Friends, Romans, countrymen" recitation. Why don't students do memorization today? Well, for one thing, memory work is not a measurable  skill on a standardized test. And, to be perfectly honest

In our part of the country we have need for large storage containers. Sometimes these large storage containers stand in sentinel groups of 10 or 12. And, because they are very large and tall they can be seen for miles across the rolling hills of the prairies. The largest of these bins are called grain storage elevators and they can hold billions of bushels of ground grain or corn, or whatever else anyone wants to put in them. They are made of reinforced concrete, for the most part, and like many industrial items from the 20th century, we are seeing more of them being torn down than we see of them being built. There are, of course, other types of storage containers in the plains states. On the smaller farms, around Kansas City, we see what we typically call silos. Individual farms have them built for silage (animal food) storage. Everyone knows what they look like. They are the tall round buildings that usually stand next to the barn. Folks constructed them of brick or maybe they even

As the self-designated chief of my neighborhood Fashion Police Force, I have been observing a frightening fashion trend this Fall. I've kept my mouth and my poison pen silent until now, but I can't stand it any longer. I'm blowing my whistle!  Perhaps you have noticed what I call, to use the most polite terms possible, the "Sequins on the South End Syndrome". This new trend can be observed anywhere at anytime. It's a sight that is appearing more and more often, from formal gatherings, to casual dining at your local barbecue joint. And, by my standards, it is not a pretty sight. Young women under the age of 14, might possibly get away with wearing faux diamonds on their bottoms, but any woman older and broader than your average skinny pre-teen should not be doing it. Glitz and glitter are not pretty on a size 16 rear end. Silver studs strewn across a woman's broadest area is grossly unattractive. Yesterday, I saw a broad-beamed woman, with two matching

The older we get, the more we seem to take things for granted. It's a given that the newspaper is going to be in our driveway, around 6:30 each and every morning. And, when it isn't, we are extremely annoyed. It's also a given that our stove, microwave, refrigerator and furnace work, when we turn them all on. Our garage door always goes up, when we push a button. The car always starts when we turn the key. There will always be bread and milk on the shelves at the grocery. We take a whole lot of things for granted. Well, we had a visitor this week, from the sunny state of California. You know, that's where the weather is always perfect and of course we all know...... "it never rains in California." It's the Golden State. But, you know what they don't have in California? They don't have the fall colors that we have here in the Midwest. So, our visitor was astounded, from the get-go, by the oranges, yellows and reds that dotted the landscape. The