Monday, August 12, 2013

Two For One Discount

My thoughts on childhood obesity were shared with my readers a few posts back. I  have written that modern children need to walk more. They need to run or walk, to and from school. We need to stop being private chauffeurs for our offspring. KIds have legs. Let's make them use them.
However today, while careening through South Kansas City, on my morning commute, I saw a sign that made me realize that the problem was much more serious and complex than I had previously imagined.
The sign I observed read "Huge Childrens Sale." Oh my goodness. Did it mean that parents are so obsessed and incensed by the appearance of their overweight children, that they are selling them? Or is there some kind of Chubby Police, removing kids from their Cheetos and Twinkies filled homes and putting them up for sale, on the street? Just how much is a Huge Child worth these days?
Parents and grandparents, listen up. Get a handle on the diets of your children and grandchildren. Promote exercise. Cut down on the sweets and sodas. This could happen in your own home town.

Gracious Lord. We need humor in our lives. Show us the healing power of laughter.
Sometimes we get so bogged down with the really serious side of life, that we forget to recognize our silliness. We praise your Holy Name, forever and ever.

Saturday, August 3, 2013


Pirates are very hot. Johnny Depp has made millions being Jack Sparrow. Walt Disney Enterprises has taken a fun little animated theme park ride and created a whole series of vastly popular, wildly profitable, full-length motion pictures. Even our local museum is currently featuring an exhibit that promises to tell us all about the "Real Pirates."
We've been  fascinated by pirates for years. It's a safe bet that most of us have played at being pirates or at least chosen to wear a pirate costume at Halloween, as youngsters. We all love the romance and thrill of a pirate's life.
I spyed (get it???) a Pirate License Plate, just the other day, on a nice SUV parked near my place of employment. I work in a state that requires only a state-issued plate for the back of your car. Any plate in the front of your vehicle can be your choice.
But this particular car not only had a pirate logo plate, it also had a handicapped mirror-tag. What a bizarre combination, I thought. Was the driver a peg-legged, swash-buckling matey? Did he or she have a hook for a hand like the infamous Captain Hook in "Peter Pan"? I eagerly anticipated the return of the sailor. Had he or she gone into the Hardware Store, next door, to repair or shapen a rapier? Perhaps the evil soul would be sporting an eye patch or have a colorful parrot on his blouson sleeve?
But alas, I got busy and by the time I looked up again, my pirate and the SUV had vanished. I'll never know what manner of dastardly suburban pirate was piloting that hardy vessel.

Great God. May we never stop enjoying your mysteries. Life is amazing and you give all of it to us, everyday. Help us to grab the gusto. Life is not for the weak and meek. We are truly blessed.

Just Not Worth a Darn

I don't know about you, but I get some of the strangest stuff on my email account. I'm not counting the Viagra, scooter and walk-in bath tub ads. I know I get those because of  my advanced age. The ones I mention here, this time at least, are the CRAFTERS web sites.
I suppose it's my own fault. I crochet quite a bit and over the years I have searched for and opened some sites dealing with free crochet patterns and supposedly great deals on yarn. And, I'm okay with yarn companies sending me notice of their sales, even though I have never bought anything from them. It is, after all, a free-enterprise country.
But, the crafter sites have me baffled. My hand-crafted crochet items are useful, I think. At the very least, they can be used for dish cloths. Keeping my family and friends supplied with baby blankets, stocking caps and scarfs takes up most of my spare time and keeps me off the streets. But, I wonder just who has time to create some of the items on these sites? And, why would anyone who has the time, attempt them?
Today, I was sent a pattern for a empty toilet paper roll nativity set.
Yes, folks, with only three empty toilet paper rolls and some bits of fabric, you can create a splendid and unique Christmas display for your home or office. Oh, and don't forget it's a great way to use up all of those old light bulbs that we have all replaced with the new squiggly type. Those old light bulbs are perfect to use for the heads of the Holy Family.
Happy crafting.

Dear Lord. Excuse us in our craziness. We know that we must supply an endless source of merriment for you. Help us to enjoy the humor of life. I believe you want us to laugh. You have created so many beautiful and wondrous items in this world. Teach us to enjoy this life and enable us to live it to the fullest.
We praise your bounty.