Don't Ask

 I have a scheduled visit my regular doctor next week. I'm calling her doctor, because she has a Medical Degree, framed, hanging on the wall of the examining room. I go to see her, or someone like her, once a year, because I am old and I am on Medicare. I am not expecting her to find anything wrong with me, although I will do the required pre-blood and urine tests, one week before the appointment. Also, because there is a large, neatly lettered sign on the wall that reads "If you have a specific issue to discuss with the doctor, please make another appointment", I won't be discussing any of my ailments.

Any day now, I am expecting to receive the 5 or 6 pages of "fillable on line" pre-apppointment paperwork, from her office. Then, and only then, will I be seen by someone. Last time, I saw the nurse practitioner, instead of the doctor, and other than taking my blood pressure and temperature, neither she nor the doctor touched me.

On those papers, I will be asked to reveal, yet again, many intimate details about my aging life. You see, I have been required to fill out similar forms, every year, for many, many years. And, no, I don't know why they don't keep them on file, for future use! 

One of the questions, I will no doubt be required to answer, will be "What pronouns do you wish us to use?" Really? 

Now, if these professionals actually read the paperwork, that I email back to them, they will know that I am 76 years old, and that I checked female box. Until recently I was married, to a man. I am now a widow. That happens to a lot of women, who live long enough. I have birthed 4 children (whose 13 kids call me GrandMA), and had one miscarriage. I have yearly mammograms (aren't those fun???), bear the scars of 6 or 7 (it was a while ago, so I have forgotten, PTL, the exact number) breast cancer related operations, and I've survived chemo and radiation, for the same issue. Oh, and let's not forget the pelvic exams! And, yes I have had numerous jobs, some of them pretty demeaning, where I have been paid a whole lot less than my male counterparts. 

Actually, I believe that I am going to write down that I prefer Queen, Her Highness, or Madam, as my preferred pronouns. Yes, I know that those are actually nouns, but if the truth be known, I don't think the medical professionals actually know the difference. 

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Dear God. I am not confused. I know WHOSE I am. Remind me what really is important on this journey.