A guy walked into a bar........

I have launched a brand new career. At 73, I have broken into the realm of Stand Up Comedy! Except, I sit down, and tell my jokes over the phone.
The size of my audience is pretty much guaranteed. I play to about 100 souls, five mornings a week. Of course, I cannot lock the doors on the venue, because they are in their homes and I am in mine (a result of the quarantine lock-down). But, short of hanging up on me (which only a few have), they are captive. They can't get away!
Monday through Friday, I make calls to all of our residents. I inquire about their health and their general well being. We chat and then I tell them a joke. They love the jokes. Some folks even ask for them.
Over the past few months, I have worked on my delivery. My jokes have to be short and sweet. Some of my audience members are hard of hearing, so I have to be careful to watch my sssstttts and diphthongs. My speech must be crisp and very precise. Jokes cease to be funny, if they can't be heard.
And, brevity is important. We oldsters have short attention spans. It's hard to laugh, when you have lost interest in the punch line, because the story was too long.
Experience has taught me to put emphasis on certain key words, in order to make the jokes easier to "get". Although a few members of my audience have dementia, and won't remember the jokes for more than a few minutes, they are thrilled, when they understand the punch line.
My new gig is a barrel of laughs. It's challenging, because I would like my audience to get a chuckle or two from my calls. Maybe Saturday Night Live or Comedy Central isn't going to call me right away, but then again, who knows?

Dear Lord. Help us remember to laugh. Life isn't always serious.