Hacked

I have been hacked by the Russians. I don't know when, why or how, but I am declaring that I have definitely been hacked.
You are aware, of course, that these days you can get lots of attention, by saying you've been hacked, accusing other folks of being hacked, or by just mentioning the word hacked? Hacking is very cool.
So, listen up. I have been hacked.
Who knows what the Russians were looking for? I am not a crook (that sounds familiar) or a spy. Perhaps the Russians are targeting grandmas in their seventies. Maybe they are interested in knowing the thoughts and concerns of aging Americans? Who knows? But, I've been hacked!
I am sticking to my story. Bring on the reporters and the cameras. Tweet about me and put my photo on the nightly news. Send over the Justice Department and the CIA, because I am ready to take full advantage of the publicity. Too bad that I'm not running for re-election, or being hacked might cause me to win by a landslide.
Okay, "I misspoke." The whole story is a fabrication. I have FOMO. That's the Fear Of Missing Out.
I think it may be a legitimate medical condition, and if it's not, I am making it one.

Good and all-knowing God, Why do we have so much trouble accepting the gifts and graces You have given us? Why do we want more? Why do we crave attention? We should be more thankful, more trusting and more obedient than we are. Dear Lord, lying is not what you want us to do.