Excuse me?

I pass numerous roadside advertisements, on my daily commute. One of my favorites is a large billboard that reads, "Your wife is hot. Fix her air conditioner." That's just too cute. And, I once drove up to a panhandler who held a hand-lettered sign that said, "Cereal Killer. My bowl is empty." Very clever. So, I gave him a buck.
Every day I drive by a suburban office building that displays a large, professionally lettered sign, "SMALL TENANTS WELCOME".
Excuse me? Does that mean that I, at 5 feet 3 inches, can apply, but my 6 foot husband cannot? What about my feisty friend, Shirley? She's about 4'10".  Can children rent there? Will they accept toy poodles as tenants, but not the standard breed? How about elves, leprechauns and munchkins? (Okay, the sign isn't in OZ...but it is in Kansas.)
So far, I have resisted the urge to pull over, leap out of my car and dash into the lobby. Will I be greeted by one of those life-sized posters, reminiscent of Disney Parks? "YOU MUST BE smaller THAN THE PRINCESS' MAGIC WAND TO ENTER".
I'm genuinely puzzled.
How often do we say or write something that makes perfect sense to us, but is totally confusing and misunderstood by others? The owners of that office building know exactly what type of tenants they want. But, to the passer-by, it's confusing, and slightly humorous. Words and phrases can often have double or sometimes even triple meanings. Often our words are just plain funny, but sometimes the misunderstandings can be hurtful.
Wise folks always think before they speak, or even post signs.

Gracious Lord: Teach me to hold my tongue. Help me to realize that my words can surely praise You and your children. Remind me to be thoughtful of others and to watch my mouth. You give us choices. Help us to make the right ones.

Over Troubled Waters

Because I live North of the Missouri River, and my job is South of that same river, my knowledge and appreciation of bridges is increasing daily. Twice a day, I must choose one of the five nearby bridges to complete my journey. A couple of the these bridges are located on major highways and the traffic and speeds are such that there is no significant difference between the regular roadway and the span over the river. You never even realize that you are on a bridge.
But, the one I prefer to use is a "bridge looking" bridge. It has graceful steel girders in an arching design that strikes me as quite beautiful. My favorite bridge was built in the 1950's to provide access to our smallish island-like airport, from the downtown area.  Howard Hughes' office was in a building, still sporting its Thunderbird-like designs, immediately adjacent to the southbound lanes of the bridge.
From the center most arch, you can see the dramatic curves of the Missouri and the point where the Kansas River, aka The Kaw, meets its much wider sister.  KC, Kansas, and the industrial river bottoms are to the West of the span. These views are possible because of the 45 mph speed limit and the narrowing lanes, which cause the traffic to  go very slowly across the bridge.
Today, while creeping my way over the Missouri, I noticed two large snags in the center of the river. Snags are large logs or even trees that get washed along by the river and at some point get caught on the bottom and stay lodged in one spot. Dozens of 19th century paddle wheelers were sunk when they hit river snags.
I think every one of us has had our share of snags. Nobody has smooth sailing or even easy paddling all the time. Life isn't easy. It's how we choose to deal with our snags that makes life real and meaningful.
Any day now, someone or something is going to dislodge those two snags, and we will all be better for the experience.

Lord: You never promised us a perfect existence. Guide us and lead us as we travel down life's highway. Keep our bridges strong and our pathways clear. Your steadfast love endures forever.

Dust it off, brother!

Except for July, the fourth day of the month is nothing spectacular. And, unless it happens to be your payday, birthday or some other kind of anniversary, chances are, it's just another day of the month.
But the fourth of July, is Independence Day in the United States of America. We're busy celebrating with fireworks, picnics, parades and band concerts. Every year, our local newspaper prints a copy of the Declaration of Independence, on the editorial page, along with a nice colored photo of the painting, by John Trumbull, depicting the 5 member committee who drafted the document.
That photo got me thinking about (stay with me here) powdered wigs. Why were many of those men in the picture wearing powdered wigs? What is a powdered wig?
So, I did a bit of research and this is what I discovered. The word wig is a shortened form of the word, periwig. Historically, a wig was a decorative head covering made from human or animal hair. Today there are synthetic ones, but that's another story.
According to my sources, wigs were generally worn by men. Women used hair extensions and various accessories (maybe even small animals) to poof-up their hair, in the style of the era. Wig powder was made from finely ground Talcum powder and must have created a kind of dusty aura around the wearer. There are paintings, from the 17th and 18th centuries, which show residue of powder on the shoulders of gentlemen.
Powdered wigs were the style. They were "in". We can relate. Imagine our founding fathers today in backward baseball caps and sagging pants.
Men might still be wearing powdered wigs, except for a very unpopular British Tax on wig powder. Uh, didn't they have enough of a problem with that one on tea?

Creator Lord: Our independence is very precious to us. We are blessed to have freedoms and privileged to enjoy our many blessings. May we also have the sense to respect the rights of our fellow earth dwellers and to use wisely the resources that we have been given. We are ever thankful for our existence. Show us how to work for You.

"Hey there. You with your nose in the air."

Pooh, pooh to those who lament the loneliness prevalent in our modern society. Naysayers are always whining about how no one knows their neighbors. It's true. We don't know all of our neighbors. But, it's not because we don't try to get to know them. They just aren't interested in getting to know us.
Let me give you three examples. Today, it was one of the 5 or 6, great weather days, Kansas City has per year. Pleasantly warm and breezy. The humidity was way low and the temperature was moderate, for the last day of June.
It was the perfect day to sit on our porch and enjoy the day. It was also a perfect day for taking a walk.
Three folks passed out house within a half -hour span. We called out to each of them. "Hello! Isn't it a lovely day." "Yoo Hoo. Hi there." No answer. The folks just kept right on walking, ignoring every attempt we made to interact with them.
No. Not all of our neighbors are physiologically hearing impaired. They aren't deaf. All of the walkers were plugged into ear phones. They couldn't hear anyone or anything but their own noise. So much for being a good neighbor!


Oh Lord: You didn't put us all here on this earth to ignore each other. Just as we need You, we need contact with our brothers and sisters. We need interaction. Show us how to accept and help one another. Your kingdom is for all of us.
We honor and thank you for our lives.

Pepperoni and mushroom, please.

Yesterday, we were mailed an advertising flyer, with a money-off coupon, for a new restaurant down on the traffic way. Wow, I commented to myself, sarcastically. Just what we need.....another pizza joint.
You see, there are already seven pizza restaurants within a 3 mile radius of our house. Apparently, everyone in the neighborhood must be eating pizza, 24-7. What else would explain the persistent plethora of pizza parlors?
But, what really struck me as odd, was the name of the new pizzeria.
I don't think we will be chowing down at The Pizza Ranch, in the near future. Because, what does a ranch have to do with pizza? Cowboys in the old west didn't eat pizza. Even movie cowboys didn't eat pizza. There were no delivery persons carrying thermal bags on those cattle drives. Imagine those crusty old ranch hands sitting around the campfire passing the Parmesan and extra peppers. Everybody, including Mel Brooks, knows they just ate beans!
So, don't look for me at Jose Wok's Taco Pagoda anytime soon.

Oh, Lord. Life is an abundant joy! Thank you for our many blessings and challenges. Our choices add spice to our lives. We glorify your name forever.

Again and again, over and over.

Last week, I listened to a very thought provoking devotion, that dealt with our old friend, "Mr. Stress". I've attached the title Mister, because my main stress agent, believe it or not, is male.
The devotion, in a nutshell, dealt with the following analogy. Stress, it was explained, is like a full glass of water. We carry it around for a long time and because we do, our arm gets very tired and sore. The glass gets heavier and heavier, the longer we carry it. We should set it down periodically for relief. Then we can pick it up, again, and carry it around a little bit longer. That description creates an interesting visual, don't you agree?
But, how about dumping that stale H2O down the sink? How about pouring it on that half-dead house plant we keep forgetting to water? Voila. A empty glass and no more stress.
Whatever causes us to worry and stress out, needs to be dealt with. And, the sooner the better, dear readers. Undone chores and issues keep us from going to sleep at night. They give us weird dreams and cause us to wake up at 3 a.m. The same unfinished troubles and unsolved problems distract us from the really important issues of life. Procrastination causes stress.
There is a comedian who simply states, "Git 'er done".

Great God. Your "eye is on the sparrow". Help me live my life stress free, and focused on Faith, Family and Friends. We know we shouldn't worry. Help us to stop it.....right now.
Your arms are around us, and you are constantly watching over us. We seek your mercy and guidance.

Good and Gone

I regularly attempt to solve the New York Times Daily Crossword Puzzle. The Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday Puzzles are pretty easy to complete. These puzzles have clever clues, but are not too terribly hard to figure out. Then come the later part of the week's offerings. Saturday's clues are often extremely difficult and they regularly include puns, grammatical nuances and word tricks that drive me slightly crazy.
But, on Sunday, the puzzles are the best. They are extra large and usually contain clues that baffle many of us pseudo-wordsmiths. Some of the hardest clues involve words that we no longer use or words that have disappeared entirely from our vocabularies.
Take for instance the word, "gusset". The last time I used or even heard the word gusset was in 7th grade Home Economics Class. A gusset, by the way, is an extra piece of material sewn or attached to a custom made garment. And, I remember having to make several.
Think about it. What words, that you once spoke daily, have disappeared forever? How about icebox, dishrag, or divan? Here are some hyphenated ones: eight-track, sock-hop, white-walls.
Linoleum and oleo are a couple more. All of those words are essentially dead and gone.
But, they make terrific crossword clues and answers.
Change is inevitable. Our lives are ever changing, and so is our language.

Ever Present Lord: You are the Constant in our upside down, everyday existence. Help us to acknowledge your greatness, your faithfulness and your power. Calm us in our times of distress. With You we can accomplish anything.We praise your never changing Holy Name.